Communication, the Word of the Week
Is it just talking? Is it really 93% body language? Is it just telling others what we want? Is it seeking first to understand, then to be understood? Is it connecting? According to John C Maxwell, “Everyone Communicates Few Connect” connecting is the key to communication.
What does it mean in your family? How do you incorporate communication lessons into your HomeSchool curriculum?
Like all of the words we picked for our 52 week curriculum, defining communication is a household job. Which then requires research, study, reading, training, developing ourselves to understand communication. Our son is on version 3.1205, and like many parents we believe his ability to communicate is exceptional compared to what we find of many children who are forced into the day care dilemma. Work to maintain the lifestyle enjoyed prior to kids, plus pay for the daycare, or find a way to make enough reductions in lifestyle that a parent can stay home with the child during their early years. This is a tough choice for most. We were blessed in the fact that our lifestyle was already on the way down prior to our son being born.
It is especially important in the early years of the parent child relationship to establish a strong basis for open, honest, and loving communication. Which can be hard for us adults to lead the way on. In our home, I tended to be tougher on our son than My Lady would be. Once our son learned a word I expected him to say it. We learned, and taught sign language, verbal communication skills, and adopting a more questioning observant attitude toward his development. However I’d let him scream and cry for 20 minutes to get him to say bottle, when he was first learning to talk just because he had said it once. Pointing and grunting wasn’t going to work for us! Establishing the importance of communication was essential to me so that we could also build trust. Just today little man mentioned someone taught him to keep secrets. In today’s world of potential child predators and horror stories of abuse, building a trusting method of communication, where we know there is only love and listening, in hopes of protecting him in such potential scenarios.
One of our great joys of working to become better, more equipped parents, is that the skills necessary to be the best parent you can be, correlate to the list of skills necessary to lead any organization, team, or group. Leadership, which is influence nothing more nothing less, communicates. Leadership is example. If we take the “career killer” of staying home to influence our children in their most impressive years and improved our own skills and abilities to deal with others in the process is an asset to any organization.
Action, leading the way, establishing the expectations, setting up the vision, taking advantage of the opportunities available. Doing the right things. Nothing establishes communication within your family like setting the example. Same at work, nothing communicates like your actions, and attitudes. Do you say please and thank you? Do you make requests rather than demands? Do you smile and have a pleasant demeanor, are you fun to be around?
Do you know the love language of your child? Do you regularly practice communicating in it? Our sons is gifts. Traditionally in my mindset this would mean buying something, with it being his primary love language though, we can give things like video game time, or earning a movie, or ice cream, as a gift. We give gifts and set up rewards because that speaks to his sanquine personality and his love language. By doing it we find not only ways to help him be the man we desire him to be, but become the parents who can lead the way.
We aren’t super smart people, we just laid out a clear vision for what we want in the future, being great parents is a par tot that. We try to communicate that, and learn how to communicate in our son’s language, not our own. First we had to learn what a love language was, what a personality was! Then how to speak to each others, and our sons. We also include a regular dosage of communication lessons such as sign language, listening to great speakers and leaders. This is two fold, one it helps us grow, not only as parents but as business producers, and programs little man with great ideas and examples to emulate.
Remember when your child was first born? That little alien creature lying all wrapped up on blankets that you had no idea how you were going to influence them. Maybe your in that phase now. How would you communicate with a person who speaks a different language? Would you shout at them and lose your temper when you tried to influence them?
In the beginning the boy communicated in feelings, pure emotional energy. He was connected straight to his Mom. He knew his mom from the love she projected. What if we never lost that energy communication? What if you could learn how to expand that energy, tap into it, and utilize it for good. The only vocalization he could really produce was a screeching cry that made you want to bang your head into the wall to make it go away.
I’m not proposing body language, body enthusiasm etc, even those things can be learned, and mimicked. Love energy, energy that shares what you really feel about people. You can communicate words of love, and have hate in your heart. It is called being a hypocrite. How can we expand our communication capacity to be emotional or energy, body, and vocal? It begins inside, it begins with a conscious awareness of our spiritual energy. Is it open and loving, or protective and closed off, fearful of others? Perhaps it is judgmental? Wherever you give energy to, is where your heart energy is going to express. If you fill your mind, eyes, ears, and psyche with crime dramas, murder mysteries, horror movies, violence, death, hatred and evil, what is going to come back out?
Our history is based on the evening time being a time when the Father, would lead his home in reading aloud, playing games, learning to play together and interact together. It has since become replaced with televisions and computers which cause us to many times interact outside the home, while never interacting inside the home. Which over time we are seeing is leading to some unsettling trends in society.
How do you get better communication in your home?
That depends on you and where you are now. Don’t forget everything begins and ends with you.
How do you define communication?